il cuore non sbaglia
^This is the blog that I will be posting all of my travel/study abroad posts for the next five months. I am required to post there weekly once I arrive in Italy, but lets be honest, I'd probably post that often anyway...
Feel free to check it out, as I'll be posting text posts and photos while I am in Rome.
-Kaitlin
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
Study Abroad in Italy
So since I've transferred to Castleton, I've had many exciting opportunities. The one I am most excited about right now is my upcoming study abroad in Rome for Spring 2015. I have been officially accepted. I just can't wait to go. (Can it be January 19th now? Pretty please...?)
I am doing a bit of fundraising so I can lower the amount of loans I have to take out, as well as pay for some everyday expenses that will come up while I'm abroad. Please check out the link below if you're interested in helping out or by learning more about myself and the program I am studying through.
Here is the link for my fundraiser. I was also picked to be Abroad101's Student of the Week. Here is that article.
Thanks,
Kaitlin
I am doing a bit of fundraising so I can lower the amount of loans I have to take out, as well as pay for some everyday expenses that will come up while I'm abroad. Please check out the link below if you're interested in helping out or by learning more about myself and the program I am studying through.
Here is the link for my fundraiser. I was also picked to be Abroad101's Student of the Week. Here is that article.
Thanks,
Kaitlin
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Found on Tumblr: Inspiration to get me through my disappointment
Tl;dr - Quotes and statements about the shooting in Isla Vista
Because someone has to say it, and it has to be a man.
Just because you’ve never groped a woman, never hit a woman, would never force yourself on a woman, doesn’t absolve you of all blame and responsibility.
If, in response to this most recent shooting (or any of the counts of men brutalizing women who’ve rejected them), a boy says to you “Hey, not all guys are like that,” or “You’re generalizing men,”, you should be cautious of that person. They are saying that your fear for your life is less important to them than their need to feel distanced from the problem.
If you hear a boy sympathize with this man, this ‘nice guy’ who got rejected, if they connect with that pain and rationalize his actions, you should be more than cautious of that person. That they choose to identify with him, rather than the ‘dumb sluts’ — the very human women, the people he saw as symbols of women’s lack of self-awareness and status as sexual objects — should scare you.
If that boy, or in fact, any person, tells you that things like these are the product of mental illness, or implies that they are isolated incidents, or even that you are making something out of nothing, you should be cautious of that person. One in three women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime. The person that implies you are being hysterical or irrational does not care about your safety or your feelings. You should be scared of someone like that.
If you are a boy, and these horrible, violent things disgust you, then do something about it. If you are incredulous that a man would ever do something like this to a woman, or indeed another human person, then say something. Women feel very often that the men they love and trust don’t care to listen to things like this.
That’s very isolating. The idea that your valid fears — the things that make you nervous walking alone at night, nervous about that boy who stares at you in class, nervous about saying the wrong thing, wearing the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing that somehow justifies in the eyes of society your rape or murder — the idea that those fears, when spoken, fall on deaf ears, is terrifying.
The idea that your concerns about your safety, in both the immediate (having to buy a new drink after going to be bathroom, because someone might have dropped something in the open cup; holding your keys between your knuckles like a knife; whether to walk faster away from the cat-callers or will that egg them on, will they follow you, will they act, because you know they can overpower you) and the distant (not having the right to govern your own body; a bundle of undeveloped cells being seen as more important than your own life): the idea that those concerns are met with a shrug and a “you can’t let fear rule your life”, or “it’s getting better”, or even, “that’s just how it is” is fucking terrifying.
So if you’re a boy, and one of your female friends trusts you enough to voice these concerns, you should realize how much that means. You should use your privilege (no one can accuse you of hysteria, or being too invested in the issue) to make sure this kind of shit doesn’t get swept under the rug.
Defend your friends. Defend girls. We are afraid because we need to be afraid. It would be nice to know that our dads and brothers and friends had our backs.
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
To the terribly misguided and hateful people that have written in saying that “we feminists” are using this “incident” to capitalize and further our “agenda”:
Feminists aren’t celebrating a gotcha moment, nor a we knew it all along moment.
We’re mourning.
We didn’t need another murder, another death to “know it all along”. We already knew.
And that’s the point. That’s why we fight. That’s why we refuse to remain silent. Because we know the state in which we live. We know the terror it brings and will continue to bring.
Misogyny kills. Rape culture kills. Toxic masculinity kills.
We didn’t want it to happen again. And now it has.
We don’t want to be right. There’s nothing to gain from it, only so much to lose.
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Yes All Men.Because someone has to say it, and it has to be a man.
Yes. All men.
Just because you’ve never groped a woman, never hit a woman, would never force yourself on a woman, doesn’t absolve you of all blame and responsibility.
We have all at one time or another said things and done things that have contributed to a society that normalises and condones misogyny. To a society in which men believe they are entitled to women’s bodies and that when they reject us women deserve to be punished.
Whether we were young and didn’t know better and have learned and changed and consider ourselves feminists now, nothing will change until we accept that we are all culpable. Even if all we did was stand by in silence and failed to challenge the words and actions of our fellow men. It doesn’t matter how much we regret it, it doesn’t matter how we’ve changed, it doesn’t matter that our transgressions might be slight…that at least we don’t hit, or rape, or kill. All of us, every last one of us, if we truly look at ourselves and are honest, share the blame.
Nothing will ever change until we accept that we are part of the problem. So long as we continue to lay the blame at the feet of other men, not us…never us…there is no hope for the future, no hope for the next generation of men who are starting out in life with ready made excuses.
We are the reason so many women live in fear. All of us. All men.
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Not All Men, But Still Too Many Men
It’s a myth. You’re entitled to nothing, and yet, ironically, you’re born with this pesky thing called privilege. And sure, someone out there is already mad I’ve invoked that word, that being a dude is hard on its own and privilege is an illusion and blah blah blah something about divorced men and prostate cancer, but just remember that the men go on dates thinking they won’t get laid, and women go on dates thinking they might get raped, punched, maybe killed. Remember that as a man you can say all kinds of shit and add “lol” at the end of it and nobody gives a shit, but as a woman anything you say might be interpreted as antagonistic and end up with rape threats or death threats. Remember that any seemingly safe space — train station, bookstore, social media, city park — is an opportunity for a man to catch a train or read a book, but is also an opportunity for a woman to be the subject of threat or sexual violence.
Remember that men get paid more, get to do more, get to be more.
I understand that as a man your initial response to women talking about misogyny, sexism, rape culture and sexual violence is to wave your hands in the air like a drowning man and cry, “Not all men! Not all men!” as if to signal yourself as someone who is not an entitled, presumptive fuck-whistle, but please believe me that interjecting yourself in that way confirms that you are. Because forcing yourself into safe spaces and unwelcome conversations makes you exactly that.
Instead of telling women that it’s not all men, show them.
Show them by listening and supporting.
Show them by cleaning the dogshit out of your ears and listening to their stories — and recognize that while no, it’s not “all men,” it’s still “way too many men.” Consider actually reading the #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter not to look for places to interject and defend your fellow men, but as a place to gain insight and understanding into the experiences women have. That hashtag should serve as confirmation that women very often experience the spectrum of sexism and rape culture from an all-too-early age. Recognize that just because “not all men” are gun-toting, women-hating assholes fails to diminish the fact that sexism and rape culture remain firmly entrenched and institutional within our culture.
Because if your response to the shooting is to defend men (or worse, condemn women) instead of speaking out against this type of violence and attitude, then you best check yourself.
This isn’t the time to talk about nice guys. Or friend zoning. Or men’s rights. Or rejection.
This isn’t the time to ride up as standard-bearers for the realm of menfolk.
You have privilege, so use it. You’re not a white knight, but if other men try to objectify women or talk down to them — step up or walk away. If you have a son, teach him about consent and drive home the point that the 100% of the fault in a rape case is on the rapist, not the victim. Help other men — you, your children, your friends — reach a place of empathy.
This isn’t about you. Don’t derail. Don’t pull that mansplaining bullshit.
Shut your mouth and don’t speak over them.
Open your ears and listen.
Open your eyes and see.
It’s a myth. You’re entitled to nothing, and yet, ironically, you’re born with this pesky thing called privilege. And sure, someone out there is already mad I’ve invoked that word, that being a dude is hard on its own and privilege is an illusion and blah blah blah something about divorced men and prostate cancer, but just remember that the men go on dates thinking they won’t get laid, and women go on dates thinking they might get raped, punched, maybe killed. Remember that as a man you can say all kinds of shit and add “lol” at the end of it and nobody gives a shit, but as a woman anything you say might be interpreted as antagonistic and end up with rape threats or death threats. Remember that any seemingly safe space — train station, bookstore, social media, city park — is an opportunity for a man to catch a train or read a book, but is also an opportunity for a woman to be the subject of threat or sexual violence.
Remember that men get paid more, get to do more, get to be more.
I understand that as a man your initial response to women talking about misogyny, sexism, rape culture and sexual violence is to wave your hands in the air like a drowning man and cry, “Not all men! Not all men!” as if to signal yourself as someone who is not an entitled, presumptive fuck-whistle, but please believe me that interjecting yourself in that way confirms that you are. Because forcing yourself into safe spaces and unwelcome conversations makes you exactly that.
Instead of telling women that it’s not all men, show them.
Show them by listening and supporting.
Show them by cleaning the dogshit out of your ears and listening to their stories — and recognize that while no, it’s not “all men,” it’s still “way too many men.” Consider actually reading the #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter not to look for places to interject and defend your fellow men, but as a place to gain insight and understanding into the experiences women have. That hashtag should serve as confirmation that women very often experience the spectrum of sexism and rape culture from an all-too-early age. Recognize that just because “not all men” are gun-toting, women-hating assholes fails to diminish the fact that sexism and rape culture remain firmly entrenched and institutional within our culture.
Because if your response to the shooting is to defend men (or worse, condemn women) instead of speaking out against this type of violence and attitude, then you best check yourself.
This isn’t the time to talk about nice guys. Or friend zoning. Or men’s rights. Or rejection.
This isn’t the time to ride up as standard-bearers for the realm of menfolk.
You have privilege, so use it. You’re not a white knight, but if other men try to objectify women or talk down to them — step up or walk away. If you have a son, teach him about consent and drive home the point that the 100% of the fault in a rape case is on the rapist, not the victim. Help other men — you, your children, your friends — reach a place of empathy.
This isn’t about you. Don’t derail. Don’t pull that mansplaining bullshit.
Shut your mouth and don’t speak over them.
Open your ears and listen.
Open your eyes and see.
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
“For the countless women and girls who have come to live with harassment as a daily cost of being in public and productive while female - let alone while feminist - the tragedy at Isla Vista has been a chilling wake-up call. I know I will never be able to tell myself in quite the same way that the men who link me to two-hundred-post threads about how I ought to be raped can’t actually hurt my body, no matter how much they savage my peace of mind. We have been told for a long time that the best way to deal with this sort of harassment and violence is to laugh it off. Women and girls and queer people have been told that online misogynists pose no real threat, even when they’re sharing intimate guides to how to destroy a woman’s self-esteem and force her into sexual submission. Well, now we have seen what the new ideology of misogyny looks like at its most extreme. We have seen incontrovertible evidence of real people being shot and killed in the name of that ideology, by a young man barely out of childhood himself who had been seduced into a disturbing cult of woman-hatred. Elliot Rodger was a victim - but not for the reasons he believed.”
-Laurie Penny, The New Statesmen
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
If/Then/ShouldIf, in response to this most recent shooting (or any of the counts of men brutalizing women who’ve rejected them), a boy says to you “Hey, not all guys are like that,” or “You’re generalizing men,”, you should be cautious of that person. They are saying that your fear for your life is less important to them than their need to feel distanced from the problem.
If you hear a boy sympathize with this man, this ‘nice guy’ who got rejected, if they connect with that pain and rationalize his actions, you should be more than cautious of that person. That they choose to identify with him, rather than the ‘dumb sluts’ — the very human women, the people he saw as symbols of women’s lack of self-awareness and status as sexual objects — should scare you.
If that boy, or in fact, any person, tells you that things like these are the product of mental illness, or implies that they are isolated incidents, or even that you are making something out of nothing, you should be cautious of that person. One in three women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime. The person that implies you are being hysterical or irrational does not care about your safety or your feelings. You should be scared of someone like that.
If you are a boy, and these horrible, violent things disgust you, then do something about it. If you are incredulous that a man would ever do something like this to a woman, or indeed another human person, then say something. Women feel very often that the men they love and trust don’t care to listen to things like this.
That’s very isolating. The idea that your valid fears — the things that make you nervous walking alone at night, nervous about that boy who stares at you in class, nervous about saying the wrong thing, wearing the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing that somehow justifies in the eyes of society your rape or murder — the idea that those fears, when spoken, fall on deaf ears, is terrifying.
The idea that your concerns about your safety, in both the immediate (having to buy a new drink after going to be bathroom, because someone might have dropped something in the open cup; holding your keys between your knuckles like a knife; whether to walk faster away from the cat-callers or will that egg them on, will they follow you, will they act, because you know they can overpower you) and the distant (not having the right to govern your own body; a bundle of undeveloped cells being seen as more important than your own life): the idea that those concerns are met with a shrug and a “you can’t let fear rule your life”, or “it’s getting better”, or even, “that’s just how it is” is fucking terrifying.
So if you’re a boy, and one of your female friends trusts you enough to voice these concerns, you should realize how much that means. You should use your privilege (no one can accuse you of hysteria, or being too invested in the issue) to make sure this kind of shit doesn’t get swept under the rug.
Defend your friends. Defend girls. We are afraid because we need to be afraid. It would be nice to know that our dads and brothers and friends had our backs.
If someone says “not all guys are like that” — great. So help do something about the guys that are.
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
"You can’t fight fire with fire!!!"
I know. You fight fire with water, or with carbon dioxide foam. In either case, the substances work because they cut off the fire’s oxygen supply, and the fire suffocates, in a manner of speaking. Water does not gently soothe the fire to sleep. It strangles it, violently, usually with a loud splash, and maybe a hiss.
I do not want to fight your fire with fire, but I want to destroy it, noisily, effectively, permanently and noticeably. I want to choke the life out of it and ensure it cannot return, and I want others to follow my lead. You cannot fight hate with hate, but you have to fight hate with anger. It is only appropriate.
I know. You fight fire with water, or with carbon dioxide foam. In either case, the substances work because they cut off the fire’s oxygen supply, and the fire suffocates, in a manner of speaking. Water does not gently soothe the fire to sleep. It strangles it, violently, usually with a loud splash, and maybe a hiss.
I do not want to fight your fire with fire, but I want to destroy it, noisily, effectively, permanently and noticeably. I want to choke the life out of it and ensure it cannot return, and I want others to follow my lead. You cannot fight hate with hate, but you have to fight hate with anger. It is only appropriate.
May 23rd, 2014 is going to stay with me
I haven't posted in a really long time. I meant to keep this blog up to date, I really did. Life happens though. I'm going to try to do better. Anyway, I have been thinking long and hard the past two days about the events of Friday night in Isla Vista, Southern California. I've been thinking about all that still remains to be done in order to stop all the violence against women. I'm so frustrated, heartbroken, and truly disappointed in the world, that there is a strong possibility that when I have children, not enough will have changed, and I'll have to be afraid every time they step outside my home.
The point of this post is that six people are dead because someone set out to kill people. Before doing so, this person made a video of their intent, stating the reasons they believed they were entitled to do so. If a woman had been the murderer, having made a video before hand outlining all the reasons that she felt entitled to take someone else’s life because she wasn't happy with how she was being treated by them, there would be no question by the media and those reporting the news that it was an act of misandry.
But it wasn't a woman who committed this crime, who took peoples lives. It was a man, and that is why it’s being excused, by news reports denying that misogyny had any part, that it was a mental illness only that made this man go off the edge. This is entitlement has got to stop. Violence against women has to end, hell, violence against people period has to end. It just ends in loss of life, and it’s unnecessary.
The point of this post is that six people are dead because someone set out to kill people. Before doing so, this person made a video of their intent, stating the reasons they believed they were entitled to do so. If a woman had been the murderer, having made a video before hand outlining all the reasons that she felt entitled to take someone else’s life because she wasn't happy with how she was being treated by them, there would be no question by the media and those reporting the news that it was an act of misandry.
But it wasn't a woman who committed this crime, who took peoples lives. It was a man, and that is why it’s being excused, by news reports denying that misogyny had any part, that it was a mental illness only that made this man go off the edge. This is entitlement has got to stop. Violence against women has to end, hell, violence against people period has to end. It just ends in loss of life, and it’s unnecessary.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Carol Diehl's Art Vent: For the Men Who Still Don't Get It
Carol Diehl's Art Vent: For the Men Who Still Don't Get It: The current state of feminism has occupied my mind lately, not the least because a poem I wrote 20 years ago, essentially ...
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Found: Another Work of Art via Tumblr
you fell in love as soon as we met
but i fell for you seven days before that
i glanced at you for three seconds and you blew me away
and over six hundred thousand seconds later
when i thought i had collected my confidence
you had already initiated conversation
i had never seen such an elegant being
i was in awe in every sense of the word
i was like a puzzle just shy of one million pieces
and my train of thought was the only one missing
you fill my chest with the sweetest air i have ever felt
yet i think if you take one more breath from my lungs
they will cave and infatuate themselves with my heart
we spoke again three weeks later (i think)
nothing could have stopped the stuttering of my words
i didn't know what it was about you
maybe it was your light vanilla scent
or your vibrant smile and autumn eyes
but you were beyond captivating and gorgeous
you were mine and i was yours
this was it
i love you,
i love you,
i love you.
h.c.
I'm not sure who H.C. is, but this was too beautiful not to share.
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